The last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about the idea of “turtling.”
For anyone not familiar with the concept, “turtling” is the process of hiding out & going quiet in order to avoid either certain feelings or events.
Every once and awhile it is healthy (and often necessary) to turtle. But what happens when your default setting is to turtle? How does “turtling” prevent you from achieving success? How destructive is “turtling” in your business & your life? And what do you do when a client “turtles” you?
Before we dive deep into the topic of “turtling” I want to share more about how “turtling” has shown up in my life recently. If I had a spirit animal mine would be a turtle, because I’m a professional “turtler.”
As of recently I have been majorly “turtling” in pretty much every aspect of my life.
👉 I’ve neglected my health
👉 I’ve ignored building out my business
👉 I’ve put off writing the damn book
👉 I haven’t been showing up on social media
👉I’ve been pretty distant from my friends (sorry besties)
👉 And I’ve just been playing small in my life.
When you turtle you are either “turtling” so you can process things or “turtling” to avoid things, the latter is where you run into issues.
As an extravert who is always on the cusp of being classified an introvert I tend to turtle after a particularly stimulating event or large crowd event. This is my opportunity to process all emotions and energies I felt from that large event. This would be an example of when “turtling” is beneficial to our health and is not self-destructive.
On the other hand when you turtle to avoid things this becomes self-destructive. For example, let’s take my “turtling” from social media. Why have I been “turtling” from posting on social media? If I’m going to be completely transparent for a moment it’s because I’m deeply afraid of what might happen when I post. I worry about what might happen if I actually go viral on social media. Can I handle all the comments? Can I handle hateful remarks? Can I keep it up long term? These are some of the questions and concerns that keep me “turtling” and off of social media.
The troubling thing is “turtling” is often times our natural biological response to a perceived threat. When our brains signal danger it activates the sympathetic nervous system and our body enters the “fight-flight-or freeze” response. “Turtling” is a part of freezing. We sense danger and we freeze up. This is why it’s so difficult for many coaches to show up confidently on social media, because their brain perceives some sort of danger when they post to social media.
“Turtling” is a safety mechanism that keeps you exactly where you are. And it’s so easy to turtle that you often aren’t even aware that it’s happening. As a coach who is trying to build a business you might find yourself “turtling” in many different areas of your business.
Common Areas of Your Coaching Business Where You Might Turtle
-In your marketing
-In your sales call
-On actual coaching calls with clients
So how can you reprogram yourself so that your default setting isn’t to turtle?
You take A.I.M.
A.I.M is an acronym I created to help you overcome any turtle tendencies that might be destructive in your business.
A: Awareness
It starts with awareness. You have to first be aware that you are in fact “turtling”.
If you find yourself avoiding tasks, neglecting things in your business, putting off the big projects or procrastinating on the daily to-dos then you might be “turtling”.
I: Identify
Once you’ve realized that you might be guilty of “turtling” you have to identify whether or not that “turtling” is healthy or destructive. Ask yourself – “Am I turtling to promote my emotional well-being?” If you are then your “turtling” is actually benefiting your overall health. If it’s not promoting emotional well-being your “turtling” might be causing some destruction in your business & life. And this might be an indication that some things need to change.
M: Make A Plan
Your next step is to make a plan of action for your turtle tendencies. If you’re “turtling” in your marketing how can you move outside of your shell and take some action to move your marketing forward?
Remember that “turtling” is a safety mechanism that gets activated when our brain senses danger. If you’re struggling with a lot of fear in your coaching business then your plan might be to take some teeny-tiny action steps forward.
It’s important when you’re “turtling” to act. Action forces you outside your comfort zone and will break you free from your turtle shell. Ask yourself what is one small action I can take to inch myself outside of my turtle shell? When I started to break out of my social media turtle shell the small action I took was to just brainstorm some topics for social media posts. This little action was enough to get me out of my shell and then from there that brainstorming ignited some momentum and I was eventually to plan out several weeks of posts & topics for social media.
So next time you find yourself turtling in your business (or life) remember to take A.I.M Be aware of the “turtling”, identify if the “turtling” is healthy or destructive & then make a plan of action.
Remember you are only human and the process of becoming a successful coach & entrepreneur is very scary at times. Practice grace & forgiveness with yourself. If I’ve learned one thing from this journey is that everytime I become aware of new things about myself it’s an opportunity for me to grow. Don’t judge yourself for “turtling”. “Turtling” is neither negative or positive. You are not a bad person or a failure if you’re currently “turtling” in your business. Every turtle will come of their shell eventually, so just keep being kind to yourself and working on pursuing your passions as a coach!
If “turtling” is becoming too big of issue for you to tackle by yourself let me help you step out of your shell and build the coaching business of your dreams. Book a complimentary Unleash The Dream Discovery Call and let’s turn those coaching dreams into a reality!
Much love,
Tyler